See, I don't. I never belonged to anything in school and it didn't matter. It never bothered me. I played sports (3 letters a year), got good grades, never socialized, read while walking down hallways, showed up in class, spoke when I had something to offer. Never dated in HS. Was never asked out except by two or three uber-geeks even though I had been asked to model so I know I was somewhat attractive then... (I was not interested in dating). I believe I must have intimidated everyone else. But I must honestly say that I simply didn't care. I was going to go to university, most of my peers were not. I never was tempted to push the sexual envelope, it would impact goal number 1. I actually never really felt alone or an outcaste.... well, no more so than the normal hormonal weirdness. I felt apart. Completely and utterly apart, as if I was looking in on another world that, while somewhat interesting, wasn't where I wanted to be or that I really cared about. If I struggle, I can vaguely remember a few of my HS acquaintances. When I hit the university I decided to experiment. I went wild for one year, trying everything, doing everything, pulled a social crowd in... and analyzed it. Then went "what's so great about this?" ... and went back to my goals.

I know this is probably something broken in my make-up but I'm happy and don't think I need to search out angst or misery for the fun of it. When in the military I passed all the tests given to people for snipers. Yet I cry at Hallmark commercials and Disney movies.

Regardless, I always wonder what makes others tick. Why does it matter so much? I'd like to know so I can help my kids through their travels without them falling off a cliff along the way. Like Wiley Coyote, I just never looked down and kept on walking....