Epitaph
He almost was a marketer,
He almost was a sailor,
He almost was an ultra-geek,
He almost was a jailor.
He almost was a historian,
He almost was a Fed,
He almost was a football jock,
Now he's completely dead.
The life of Adiplomat, in music (to be played at the funeral)
Birth: Toccata and Fugue in D-minor, by J. S. Bach
Childhood: The Imperial March, by John Williams
Teens and Twenties: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC
and On the Road Again, by Willie Nelson
Middle Age: 16 Tons by Tennessee Ernie Ford
Twilight Years: TBA (To Be Announced)
Death: Looney Tunes Theme
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