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The Almost Latecomers thread! | by kickstart | 2002-07-23 21:04:41 |
| ok |
by Arienadean |
2002-07-23 21:48:48 |
Well for one I've delt with alot of death in my life time... and have tired with those people that only come 'round when it's wedding, funeral, baptism, baby shower, or stag/stagette time...
So my funeral would be limited to those whom I considered "family" weather they were family by blood, marriage or just in the heart.
Secondly it would be simple. No drawn out stuff no complex rituality well other than I do kinda like the medicine neacklace ritual I did for my father.(a friend who was indian gave it to me to honour my father and he had a shaman make it for me) Anyways it would likely be peaceful and just friends comming together to say good bye. Hopefully they'd take my ashes and sprinkle them someplace nice in nature where wildflowers grew, little froggies and chickadee's roamed. At sunset or whatever they'd say their goodbyes to me in their own way... Then hopefully when that was done they'd either go play an rpg game nearby or go home and hangout playing lan games, chatting, remembering. Hopefully with a smile silly moments and things...
I don't know if I'd have a tombstone but if I did it would have a celtic knot, and a pyramid or djed on it.(if for no other reason than I like those things) Though hmm maybe a chickadee... :) Wouldn't say much just my birth date and date I'd passed from this plane of existence.
Now as for what is actually happening with my daughter. I have no control over that though knew what she wanted. She wanted creamated and her ashes put where flowers grow as she loved flowers and nature. She wanted someplace relatively peacful and she wants things simple. What is going to happen I'm not totally sure of but I know some of it goes beyond what she fully wanted and gets complex. She felt she was christian... specifically catholic and as such probably would of perfered a quiet catholic ceremony. However her father has gone with what will be the fastest ceremony and picked the church that way.(one minister told me his manner gave him the impression my daughters father had just drove by and pointed one out and said "oh I guess that will do) She has her urn already picked out with small blue flowers on it.(she saw the print and did like it) There was a multimedia presentation made of her, her fathers family and his friends.(one token picture of me was in there and they refused to include chromatix pic with her despite my daughter wanting that... they made up excuses as to why... excuses that were somewhat lame) They have planned the reception which is chinese food and a few odd finger foods for kids. Someone is making up balloons and a big banner with a collage of pics of my daughter her dad, his friends and one or two pics that actually include my son. Quite a few people got invited. Several I don't think she knew... some she wasn't that close too. One child that she personally couldn't stand was also actually invited. A fuss was made over how many from my side could go due to cost of the reception planning. Well... Frankly I didn't plan on inviting anyone that wasn't close to her, etc. So my mom, my sister and her family, my brother and his family, my sons foster family, and my roommates immediate family were invited. Then I heard from my daughters father "thats all?" He didn't seem to grasp whats the point in inviting those that you *only* see at weddings, funerals, etc. Besides my list was who my daughter asked to be present.(other than she asked for chromatix who likely wont be able to attend) Anyways before my daughter has even passed its been all planned out. Apprently even the food for the reception for the most part bought, the church booked(no matter when it occurs the service will be on a specific day), etc. I'm trying to ignore the bit of a circus I see... Though it isn't totally what my daughter wanted she'd not want us fighting. She so far will not have a tombstone. Her father and I couldn't afford to get her a plot. I had no money for any services though the government gives a fee towards costs to take part of the edge off. Her dad will get it direct later. For the time being when she goes her ashes will be in an urn on his dresser.(I asked him to stick them up somewhere out of kids & the dogs reach but he wont do that<sigh>)
Anyways personally I like simplicity. I know people get sad for saying goodbye when the time comes. But I'd rather them remember with laughter the good and silly times... |
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