| Being all peepee'd off for not having been invited and then playing a neat prank. But what about Her role in the Rock & Roll movement? You think that generation conflict happened on its own? Puh-leeze.
And here is our silly little creation myth, pulled right out of HyperDiscordia:
These are the first few verses of Smooth Move, Genius, known among the profane as The Book of Genesis.
In the beginning, Eris created heaven and earth.
She then sobered up, and decided She may as well make the best of it.
And the earth was without form and void. ``Void'' seemed to be a good idea, and the spirit moved Eris to pass waters.
And Eris said, ``Let there be light,'' and there was light.
And Eris saw the light, that it was good. Then, thinking She was on a roll, Eris said ``Let there be pickled herring,'' which ended Her streak at one.
And Eris called the light Night, and the darkness She called Day. She decided this might get everyone mad at Her, and switched them around.
And Eris said, ``Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and let him be humorous and fun to hang with and have dominion over the Great Boredom that would otherwise make this universe interesting like unto a stale potato chip.'' Her other personalities, after briefly wondering why She was talking to Herself, saw that it was good (or, at least, that they should humor Her).
And Eris hurriedly made the World and the dry land thereon so that She could create and plant a potato seed before anyone began to wonder what, exactly, a ``potato chip'' was.
And Eris said ``Phew,'' and saw that it was good, if a little rushed.
And Eris suddenly remembered having said something about making man, and went about collecting some odd bits of Play-Doh and Silly String. Lastly, she collected the Divine substance from under Her desk, known to the great alchemists of old as the Sacred Pink Phlegmingo, but today has a rather less glorious name.
With this did Eris mold man and woman, and breathed humor into their nostrils. Man and woman awakened to life laughing, pointing at the weird looking bumpy and dangly bits on each other.
They then almost knocked each other over in their mad dash to the Tree of Self-Righteousness.
And Eris did sigh, wondering what else one should expect from the willy-nilly creations of a Goddess with a hangover. |
