Listen up, brothers and sisters
Come hear my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature
Trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegetables live in oppression
Served on our tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness
I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers
Coleslaw's a fascist regime
Don't think that they don't have feelings
Just 'cause a radish can't scream

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
How do you think that feels (that it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)
Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade is a ...)

I saw a man eating celery
So I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again
I'll bite him clean in two
I'm a political prisoner
Trapped in a windowless cage
'Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips
By killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me
This is my finest hour
I'd kill those farmers again
Just to save one more cauliflower

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
How do you think that feels (that it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)
Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a ...)

How low as people do we dare to stoop
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup
Untie your beans
Uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free
Don't mash that potato
Oh, spare the spud! Eat a cow instead!

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stir-fry are sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gourmet slob)
How do you think that feels (leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
It's time to stop all this gardening (take up macramé)
Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade is a spade is a spade is a spade)

Power to the peas!
Give peas a chance!
All we are saying
Is give peas a chance ...

(So much for those so-called peaceful vegetarians. Yes, I know I already posted this not too long ago. But it's so appropriate in this thread.)