It's the most frightening thing in the world
It's the scariest sight I've ever seen
The most chilling visual, the most terrifying scene
It's awful, it's crappy, it's monstrous, it's bad
It's really, really huge
It's a fat man in a Speedo (screams)

I'm walking on a beach on a tropical isle
Hoping to enjoy the sand and surf
When I see a mound of baby oiled flesh rolling and boiling in the foam
The only thing that's holding this explosion of caucasian
Is a tiny red synthetic coloured thread
I try to sink it in the sand and entomb it in a castle
But it always manages to break free

The fat man in a Speedo

I'm having nightmares
I'm scared to open my eyes
I try to free myself
By going to the buffet
But there he is
He even eats in his Speedo

I take up a collection at the bar next day
And everybody gives to the cause
To rent a helicopter that will take this whale to Cuba
And free the horizon from his bulk
We have a celebration in one of his indentations
And throm a bowl of jello in the air
We think we've escaped and our scenery is clear
But in comes a plane from Germany

30 fat German Men, and they're all wearing Speedos!

Eins Zwei Drei Vier German German Ja!

(Gotta love a song with that last line. ;))