It's all hooked up like it should be. I press the power button with not much excitement, because there's a buttload of work yet to be done once it's on and going, since I'm going from Windows 2000 Server (hey, it was all I could find at the time) to Professional, while still keeping Windows 98 running alongside it for some old games my brother likes to play. It all lights up like it should...and keeps lighting up. Over and over. Darnitall, I say, and peer inside as I turn it on again. The fans are running...for about five seconds. Someone complains about a burning smell. My heart weeps.

I can't smell. Ever. Anything. So I have to rely on someone else's nostrils to tell me if they think the smell is coming from the as-yet-untested motherboard or the only-been-on-once power supply. They think it's the motherboard, and I tend to agree, because by this point the fans won't turn on at all.

Back to CompUSA I go, receipt in hand, like a good little consumer with a defective product. The exchange went quite well, before you ask, with no hassle at all from customer service. Really, I don't see what's so horrible about that place. Except that it's an hour away - but then, living where I do, everything is.

I'm home with a new motherboard of the same make and model as the returned one. Instead of going through the trouble of sticking it back in the case properly, I merely attach it to the backboard and plug in the power supply being sure not to touch the backerboard to the case. I grab a screwdriver and, much to my brother's horror, touch the screwdriver to pins inside the computer while it's plugged in. I even grabbed his arm for effect, causing him to think he'd be electrocuted - even though I was only turning the thing on, not having hooked up the power switch yet.

It ran! Hurrah! It's going to be ok- *KAPOW*

Damn all.

Now, the power supply rattles. I'm thinking I did a stupid thing and dropped a screw into it somehow. So, ignoring the warning on the label which tells me explicitly NOT to do so, I open it up. I turn it upside down, expecting to see a very charred and frightened screw fall out amidst the smoke which is quite obviously billowing from within. Do I get my screw?

Just like my last two dates, no. Very much unlike my last two dates, I do get a warm and horribly misshapen capacitor. This, my Spidey-sense tells me, is the root of my troubles. So, back to the office I go, with motherboard in hand, to see if I can blow up any of the power supplies we have here at the office.

Did I? Did I? Did I blow up anything else, destroying company property for personal use? No. It ran quite well, thank you, with nary a peep or a pop or puff of smoke. At this point, I'm wishing I'd brought the processor and some memory as well, so I could hook it all up to a monitor just to be sure it's working (half an hour away from home, my office is) but I suppose that's what tomorrows are for.

All this so I can have the convenience of being able to check my work mail from home. For the record, all I've gotten in my work mail today is some stock-related spam and an offer to lift and firm my breasts in 60 days. Hm. More money and bigger kn*ckers. Perhaps today wasn't such a waste, after all.