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Conspiracy of the day: Change your name or die! | by Kickstart | 2006-11-19 12:55:59 |
| Oh brother. |
by Capt. X |
2002-04-28 19:40:31 |
That site would be a lot funnier if it was about 9000 paragraphs shorter. The dorkitude of the webmaster's theory goes right off the scale. Especially his/her "Moore/More" concept, which is somehow derived from the "death" of Jim Morrison. Any halfway decent conspiratologist knows that Jim Morrison faked his death, and under the assumed name of Lorenzo Music, he became a famous voiceover artist who predictably refuses to ever be photographed. It may seem hard to believe that the Lizard King is now best known as the voice of Garfield the Cat, but hey, it's also tough to believe that David Hasselhoff's "singing" career is the final deadly product of the CIA's Omni-Screech death sound project. (Well, actually that last one's pretty easy to believe, but you get my point.)
My personal theory makes more sense. I hold that any UFie whose screen handle contains one or more of the letters L, I, N, D or Y is cursed with the inability to tell the difference between quality entertainment and lame reruns of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." I base this on the fact that Charles "Lindy" Lindbergh is dead, and is therefore unlikely to be able to tell the difference between any show on television at all. So if you deliberately chose a nick that contains the DARK LETTERS OF LINDY, you are a bad person and I humbly pray to the DROOLING IGNORANT MORON DEITY OF PRIMETIME ENTERTAINMENT that you are never allowed to become a studio programming executive. (That'll probably backfire on me, though. That brainless DIMDOPE freakin' loves "Buffy," though not half as much as it loves "Baywatch.")
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