You want to get yourself a real machine, then go dig up the parts and plans for building an Altair 8800. Sure, those tiny little switches you'll have to use to program the thing may cut your precious little fingers a little, but so what? Real programmers code till they bleed, and this handy little device just ensures you'll start bleeding that much sooner.
(Come to think of it, plasma-draining is about the only real function an Altair has, though they do have some pretty blinking lights on them, too. Often after a hard day of working with the old Altair, as I lie there moaning and patiently awaiting the arrival of the friendly paramedics who routinely stitch my fingertips back on, I like to gaze upon the soothing, repetitive patterns of those fascinating little lights until the hallucinations start and I pass out in a blood-loss induced coma. Some may call me pathetic, self-abusive, perhaps even insane, but I can't help cherishing those all-too-brief moments as a transcendental interlude of bliss. True, that might have something to do with all the morphine those paramedics use, but it's hard to be sure.) |
