I like what little of the story you have told, and I like the attitude. On the other hand, the layout and the artwork is visually confusing. IMHO, the first panel would be better if, starting with the second version, you bisected it vertically, and removed the left half, moving some part of the fight scene from the left into the lower right corner. I could do without the right side of the second panel too. I like the sort of "floating Buddah" in the third panel, but as someone else already mentioned, it is difficult to follow who is saying what. I also like the tree in the first panel.
Given the story line, I think that you will have ample opportunity to develop your artwork, but resist the urge to add eye-candy just for the sake of doing it. Focus on what is needed to tell the story.
Bear in mind that this is just my opinion, and that I have no qualifications whatsoever. But you did ask for opinions. |
