| Remember, I care not if you think fishing is cruel. Just be happy I didn't jab a hook in YOUR cheek today. ;)First, make sure you have plenty of gas in your boat. Paddling sucks.Trash-talking helps. Phrases such as "I had yo momma last week" and "I'm gonna eat your children" have entirely new meanings when fishing, and it's a good way to relieve the stress built up while being outsmarted by an animal whose brain is the size of a peanut.Always be aware of your hook. This is most important when removing the hook from the fish, as it's quite easy to poke yourself in the thumb while wrestling the fish free.Fish do not appreciate that you're trying to get them off the hook and back into some water. Fish are also quite capable of defending themselves. Beware the dorsal fin. It's like grabbing a full pincushion.If you're having a successful day, remember to only keep as many as you have room for. Fifty fish won't easily fit into a holding compartment meant for twenty.If you have an open drinking container, and a fish is flopping around nearby, the fish WILL flop into your drink.Spilling a Dr. Pepper into the holding compartment will result in jittery fish, and eventually dead fish.When fishing from a boat, only jig fish. It's far too hazardous to try and cast your lure when confined to such a small space.When a boat is moving fast enough, you can actually stand on a vertical surface on the boat. Try not to be standing there when the boat slows down, though.When pulling your boat out of the water on its trailer, MAKE SURE YOUR TRUCK IS NOT IN REVERSE.Double-check that your boat is tied to the dock if you must leave it. A flying leap from the dock to your boat is not fun.And lastly, there are three kinds of lies in this world: Lies, Damn Lies, and Fishfinders. |
