I firmly believe in a licensing requirement to own and operate an SUV. If you fit any of these three criteria, you may receive a permit.
-1- Tow or haul (trailer, boat, whatever)
-2- Off-road (my friend Stu from Kentucky *cue banjo* regularly plays with his toys in the mud.. A.Ok!)
-3- Live someplace extreeeeeeeme (Parts of the outer banks, N.C., where there are no roads... parts of the mountains where there are no roads, see rule 2... The suburbs or pothole-stricken cities do NOT count).
If you don't fit these criteria, go buy an AWD car or wagon (hey yuppies, audi has quattro, mercedes has 4-matic, and BMW has 330xi! Not wealthy? Subaru and VW have good AWD cars). If you insist on inflicting your warped sense of self-importance in a vehicle that gives you an inflated sense of safety while allowing for your feeble brain to be pampered to the pointed where you forget laws of physics (say... inertia... or F=ma).... then you should be culled from the herd. Oh, and if you have a particular preference for a 'luxury' SUV (jeep grand cherokee, lexus, mercedes) you can look forward to a special place in the hell I would create for you. And if you like the really big f---ing SUVs (lincoln navigator, suburban, yukon denali, cadillac ecalade... the kind you require a satellite uplink to see around in traffic) you will not only be culled from the herd, but also be rendered into fuel for compact cars.
So, uh.. SUV drivers. Yah. Percent of the population? Around here.. too high. But the upshot is, every day there's accidents taking SUVs off the road... thank Jah for that.
Ciao, C.Sc. |
