If you already know Linux inside-out, you can try the Linux From Scratch project. You start with a working Linux system and build your own, so you know exactly what has and hasn't gone into it.
However, you sound like you might be trying your first system, in which case I suggest SuSE or Mandrake. The latter uses a layout very close to the "standard" Red Hat, which is a help when you need to ask questions of most other users. The installer is reportedly very good too. I've only used an older version of SuSE, but that also had an excellent installer (which however required a lot of RAM) though uses a less standard layout.
Both SuSE and Mandrake allow you to manually select "individual packages". I suggest you pick one of the standard 'systems' and modify it from there.
I tried Debian once. It didn't install. 'Nuff said. Shame, because those who *have* got it to install say it's excellent, though a bit tech-oriented.
My current machines are all Red Hat based, though many of the important components have already been replaced. I'm building an LFS system when I have the time.
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