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NPOTD | by mekkanik_mike | 2001-10-08 00:48:29 |
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Hmmm I don't know it depends on why | by Arienadean | 2001-10-08 01:22:42 |
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ALL GOOD IDEAS BUT... | by dire_lobo | 2001-10-08 10:07:56 |
| Well... (explaination) |
by Arienadean |
2001-10-08 12:50:06 |
2 of my ex's I didn't enjoy s*x with so really it was no great loss for me.
My ex husband got the ultimate lart of sorts. Judge gave him crap for how he was to me in there presence and in general.(thats when I got a no contact order against him.) My ex husband also used sex as a weapon.(think that is self explaintory and also saying I nearly miscarried both my children as a result. For which more than one doc larted him verbally.). Also he was messing around unknown to me til 3 women told me... Oh and part of my disabilities are from perminant damage my ex did to me and is cited as such by specialists.
My current SO I'd not withold that from <g> he and I do quite fine thankyou... ;)
Well for the crying reason for that is that by that point I've lost language and can barely speak. I've tried to reason but they weren't listening or didn't make much attempt too. Then they continually repeated doing what was bothering me knowing full well it did bother me. Frustration can cause me to loose language.(I'm autistic and we have language issues to varying degrees). All I can do when I've reached that level is cry or hide because frankly I've had enough and they really knew better. Usually they see me crying or hiding and finally taken the hint I've had enough. Then they appologize and listen or just are least clueful enough to leave me alone hopefully.(til I've calmed down and have my language back).
Tickling and pillow fights are for mellow things. Trying to laugh to diffuse things, etc.
Talking about stuff I usually try. I state that something is bothering me when it is then if they don't want to discuss it leave it for a little bit or we resolve it then. Sometimes people just don't want to talk. They see their way as the only way, don't care, have sadistic humour and figure its your problem not theirs and they can continue as is, etc. If they repeatedly don't care, don't want to talk and compromise, etc then it builds and builds. Usually at that point I eventually blow up. I don't like being confrontational or hurting peoples feelings(I avoid it if at all possible). But if they keep pushing it it comes out with basically that I've had enough and either they will compromise or there is the door because I'm not going to sit there and take it anymore that its not healthy to go on like that and one way or another things will change.
One boyfriend I broke up with because he'd not listen to reason and he had some very serious issues. I couldn't watch him destroy himself, force his wishes upon me, or take out things on other people whome I also cared for. He had a drug issue and wouldn't seek proper treatment. He also had paranoid delusional problems. Stuff that just can't be ignored.(thinking people were after him, etc). Then another was dominant he thought he knew what was best and kept trying to tell me how I should live my life and reason away his own behaviour. He didn't wish to compromise and realize that maybe I had a say in my own wants, etc.
Anyways there are other examples I could give. I've had some wonderful relationships where communication was great, same with shared intrests, etc. and others which were quite the opposite. Luckily there were more good than bad. I don't like larting people. I'd rather just kiss, cuddle, philosphize, etc with my SO. I try to respect them and I expect that back and if they can't do it yes eventually they will get larted. |
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