Try the new Stihl 3000 chainsaw, now with our patented easy-start telepathic-crank motor! Improved chain technology only cuts through wood, guaranteed not to cut off your leg. If our chainsaw does cut off your leg, Stihl will buy you a new set of legs...for free!*
For you serial killers, we've included an experimental "Flesh-switch" that will allow you to live out your Leatherface fantasies. Simply press the button labelled 'Start' and your blood-fest can begin!
It slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries, it chops, lops, hops, skips, jumps, humps, thumps, bumps, grinds, finds, hunts, pokes, jokes, riddles, piddles, poops, loops, barrel rolls, pays tolls, pays the piper, pays your taxes, replaces your axes!
Available now at all major toy stores, not available to children under the age of six.
*Leg-replacement guarantee does not apply to pirates with wooden legs. |
