| Bah, I only wish everyone were happily opening presents. That'd mean I was opening presents, too. =)
So sure there's lots to be frumpy about this time of year, double if your birthday's today or tomorrow or the day after. What you need to do is move your birthday. I suggest you move it to mine, May 29th. It's very convenient, situated halfway between Christmas and the next Thanksgiving, so there's not much downtime between holidays. Speaking of holidays, this falls on Memorial Day some years, so as long as you're an American, you get your birthday off sometimes. You'll be sharing your birthday with such greats as Bob Hope, JFK, and...uh...well, me. ;) Don't move it today, though, or you won't be 21 for five more months. You're missing out on one importance aspect of adult birthdays: with the absence of the usual cake, presents, champagne (how you got champagne at your fifth birthday is beyond me), and anyone caring about your birthday besides you, there is only one place to turn - the bottle. So crawl up inside a longneck and stay there until about 8pm tonight, so you'll have sobered up enough for present-opening tomorrow. That's how I did mine earlier this year, except there wasn't Christmas the next day and I couldn't find a clock anyway not that it mattered because I don't think I could have read it if I had. And remember that your mom still likes you, and so does everybody who posted you some well-wishes. Be happy that you're not spending the holidays in Alabama. And please, rejoice that your hair isn't on fire. No matter how bad things may seem, you've still got it better than an unloved person in Alabama whose hair is on fire. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find a fire extinguisher. |
